Basketball Wives – The Reunion

Shauni and the Basketballettes…

Well now that we have all had a few days to process the Basketball Wives Reunion lets discuss…. That’s funny I say discuss because im the only one typing.  You get my drift though.  Anywho, first things first…. Who the hell did the Hosts’ hair? Every time they showed her I was disgusted.  It was extra poofy on one side, and short on the other like they had two feuding stylists doing her hair “I said a bob” “I said a fro”.  Whatever happened that was a mess, a hott mess, a hott mess on a cold day, a hott mess on a cold day with a cherry on top.  That is when I knew I was in for a good old fashioned train-wreck of a time.  For those of you who haven’t seen the show yet, let me tell you…it goes downhill from there (and for one lady downstairs….).  Honestly a lot of the show I really cant remember because I was too busy texting about more interesting things like why “to be or not to bed” is the question.

All I know is if I am planning to be on TV…. Not like I ended up on an episode of COPS with my fluorescent satin scarf on and mix-match socks…. But like I knew ahead of time I was about to be seen all across America I would be done from head-to-toe.  I think the pressure of the ubiquitous “Reunion” show gets these girls all over-worked and they end up looking worse then they did on the show… Case in point; Jennifer.  Now while I think Jennifer is a pretty lady, something is ALWAYS wrong with her hair.  Some people would say “at least she is consistent” but having bad hair isn’t a record you would want to keep.  Something just didn’t sit well in the Bang area.  Which leads me to believe she is allergic to glancing at a mirror before her curtain call.  I think she was hoping we would go into a sequins coma looking at her dress, and be too distracted to see the rest of her ensemble.  She was wrong.  I did get a good laugh though, seeing those clips when her…. (for lack of better term, Ugly) husband made her breakfast and somehow they were on a the path to a happy marriage.  Bacon and Eggs erases all the tail he been chasing?  Well she must have been professing her undying devotion with that ham sandwich lunch he had in store… I like how they are creating faux-drama by making it seem like staying in the marriage was really a choice.  Let me break it down, he “had” money before they met.. which means there is a pre-nup, they don’t have any kids… which means no child support, and they couldn’t afford a 2 million dollar house… which is why I say “had” money.  So unless she is cool with working at the Gap she is staying in this marriage come hell or high-water.

Shaunie was just, well, Shaunie.  Nothing special about her… she has enough sense to know not to act a damn fool on TV.  So moving on.  Was it just me or did you see a slight roll peeking out of Evelyns peep-side-stomach dress?  When she stood up, I frowned.  But she looked decent.  Royce looked nice.  I am glad she didn’t have on her Juniors wear, the girl is 30 and wearing things I was too good for at 16.  I think I was subliminally emotional cause I started crying during her speech.  Not like tear dropping boo-hoo’ing, but I got that sad inner feeling and my eyes welled up.  It could have been pollen in the air and my body telling me its time for another Zanax, but lets go with emotional for this story.

Oooohhhh, my new thing is Glorias wrist-twisting “That’s What’s Up” saying.  Try it; it is so fun to do… Like it automatically gives you hood credentials.  Her best bet was to be absent.  But it would have been nice to see a rematch between her and Royce.  Lol, that little catfight was funny.

I get the urge to wanna hammer nails when I look at Suzies’ mouth.  Something is out of order in her oral cavity.  I haven’t quite put my finger on it (for fear of losing said finger), but something aint right.  Why was it ok for her to be talking about “Plastic Surgery” but she just couldn’t take it when the tables were turned, she exited stage left.  Speaking of Plastic Surgery, since when does pouring drinks mean “hosting” the party?  That sounds more like bartending the party to me…. But maybe Miami has its own dictionary.  Just as the show got… more mediocre here comes Suzie with a mysterious bucket of water.  These are the most drink tossing, water pouring, athlete downing women I have ever seen on TV.  Oh, I will be tuning in next season for more drama, but I’m just calling a spade a spade.  They edited out the “fight”, but I got the gist seeing Plastic get up off the floor.  Then behind the scenes Suzie got arrested, LOL!!!! These are some crazy broads.

Even with my critiques I must say I like this show.  Hell it has provided many topics for this blog.  So let’s hope next season these girls pump up the volume and start throwing solids.